How Did I Get Here?

Back in 2006, my husband, Rollie, and I packed up our van and our three young daughters and headed out on a vacation. We had spent the previous few years saving for this trip of a lifetime that we wanted to share with our girls. We left Nova Scotia and headed for Maryland where I attended a conference then we continued our journey down the Eastern seaboard of the United States to Walt Disney World for a week of fun in Florida. It was a grand adventure full of twists and turns, lots of fun, and even some scary moments but when we left NS; we were armed with a map and a GPS to help us find our way.

Because I am a very organized and particular sort of person who does not like to fly by the seat of her pants, I spent weeks preparing: finding hotels, places we could get food (in our family we have many severe food allergies, so we had to be vigilant), plotting out our route along with alternates in case of hurricanes, traffic, or any other things that might come up. I made reservations for the places we would stay in Maryland and Florida and had some places on the way as options, depending on how far we could travel each day with three kids. 

When we take a long vacation or make a journey, many times, we sit down and count the cost finding out how much this will cost us financially and what we need to do to prepare. We plot out our route and prepare for everything we can and even try to account for some of the what if’s. Maybe you’re very different from me and are more of a go “go where the wind takes you” traveller and load it up and figure it out as you go.

Whether you’re a planner or a traveller who goes where the wind takes you, you can sometimes get on the wrong road - or sometimes even a different road than you expected and end up somewhere else. When this happens, most times we ask the question, “How did I get here?”

This can happen in our lives and ministries too. We sense a calling on our lives. It can be vague or detailed, regardless of which it is, if you take the call seriously, you begin to work your way through the details of getting to where you’re called to be. I’m not sure whether your call was clear or vague, but mine was a gentle nudge in my heart that He was calling me into ordained ministry. 

It was the only clear thing about it. It took me time to accept the fact that He had called me. I felt so utterly insignificant and ill-equipped to do what He was asking, to the point that I couldn't see how He could ever even prepare me. This call came into my life at what seemed like an impossible time. I was homeschooling our three girls and Rollie worked erratic and long hours of shiftwork. How was I supposed to go off to school and learn what I needed to to be an ordained pastor? So, I ignored it and pushed the thought away. Two years later, the call came again and I sensed an urgency to be obedient, yet I was still hesitant because I already had so many responsibilities.

After much time in prayer and counsel from a couple people who I trusted to steer me towards God’s will, I said yes and enrolled in a course of study - which varied and morphed as I worked through a track with the goal of ordination. I studied hard and worked hard, walking through doors of opportunity that opened - not knowing which end was up at first - to fulfill the call that God had laid on my heart. After I finished my courses and book learning, I began to do a year of Supervised Ministry at a church an hour away from my home. 

God certainly has a sense of humour and I’m learning to lean in more each time things aren’t as I expect them to be. He has a good plan for our lives and He knows the big picture. It’s trusting Him with all the pieces that we don’t see that can be challenging.

A friend shared a heavenly piece of wisdom with me recently that I’d like to share with you. Maybe you can relate this to your own calling; especially if you aren’t where you expected to be. She said, “God’s plan is like when you do a puzzle. You take all the pieces out and sort them in the way you do, then you look at the cover. The cover shows you exactly what the puzzle should look like. But in this case, God has the cover, we don’t. So we wait for Him to show us where the next piece goes because we can’t see the whole picture.”

As I’ve thought about and prayed about where I am versus where I thought I would be, I’ve decided to leave it in His hands: to hold everything loosely, palms up, hands open and let Him have His way in it. This is not always easy but knowing who holds it helps to trust. There are a few verses that I cling to when I am asking myself the question—“How did I get here?” —that help me once again stop striving and trust Jesus, who holds me and my history, my today, and my tomorrows. 

• Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21
  
• I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you. Psalm 32
  
• The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand. Psalm 37:23-24
  
• For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works,which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:8-10
  

Are there any other Scriptures that you especially gravitate towards when you are wondering how you got here? When my family was travelling to Florida all those years ago, a hurricane was headed up the Eastern Seaboard and threatened to hit us head on, had we continued the same path we had originally mapped out. But thanks to being prepared, we were able to check the map (I’m still kinda old school in that area), reroute ourselves and travel more inland to avoid the storm. Sometimes we have to do this in our ministries as well - and that’s okay, even healthy. But it’s important to have the right tools to do so.  

If you are in a place either physically, emotionally, or spiritually and are wondering—”How did I get here?”—please remember that you are not alone. Wesleyan Holiness Women Clergy exist to engage, empower and equip women leaders, teachers, and clergy to discern and fulfill their calling. You can follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and on our website to connect with women leaders from all walks of life. Each of us has a story, each of us long to see others grow into their kingdom potential. We are in this together and desire to see the Kingdom win because of our obedience to God’s calling on our lives. Connect with us today! We’d love to hear from you. 

All Scripture taken from the NIV.